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12 Years Later, The Pain Is Still Fresh
We lost our daughter to cancer 12 years ago today, and it still really hurts
Twelve years ago today, our eldest daughter died of cancer. It was the most horrific moment of my life.
I knew that, one day, I was going to bury her. She had a genetic condition to which most of those afflicted ultimately succumb. Yet, despite playing the movie of her death in my mind a million times, the day I finally faced it was the absolute worst day through which I have ever lived.
Twelve years later, the pain is still fresh. The grief is still suffocating. The deep-seated ache in my heart has never resolved.
As time goes by, I start to forget the circumstances surrounding her death. With my career and family obligations, I naturally am not constantly focused on those last terrible 12 hours of her life. Forgetting is actually part of the human condition, otherwise most people could not move on from a terrible tragedy.
But that forgetting — as merciful as it may be — is painful. This was my very first child. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I fell deeply in love. I never knew I could love someone like that until God gave her to us.
And the love she gave my wife and me in return was nothing short of Divine. It was…
